Full.Stop.

It’s been a torrid kind of week.

Not everyone gets to bid a quasi-permanent farewell to their SO 
as they depart for distant shores.

DO pass go.

Do NOT return.

Rambling at the Domain whilst the flatmate writes a test

It’s a full stop kind of moment.

The end of a sentence.

Both literally AND figuratively.

The start of a new chapter for both of us.

Albeit in different countries.

My feelings are a bit bizarre at the moment

Optimistic but  sad. 

I couldn’t imagine a more different set of circumstances or sequence of events.

It’s all so far removed from reality.

As is my wont when soul food is needed

I took to the beach with the lemmings and a hound in tow.

They’re special, these lemmings of mine.

As is the hound.

“She loved the sea.

She liked the sharp salty smell of the air,

and the vastness of the horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above.

It made her feel small, but free as well.”

~ George R.R. Martin

Ah yes.  

Freedom.

It’s vastly undervalued as the SO will attest.

The lemmings and I shared hugs as our footsteps stretched out behind us. What’s done is done.  It cannot be undone.

The story of life must continue.

There are new chapters to be written.  New worlds to explore.

Missing a middle lemming ..... 

I am not one for wallowing in misery.  The time we have on this planet is finite. It’s not meant to be wasted in wallowing.

Unless it’s in mud.

So I will keep SMILING and SNAPPING (crocodile fashion) 

and letting the words TUMBLE out of my mouth.

Cause that's what I do best.

“Life has no meaning.  

Each of US has meaning and WE bring it to life.”

~ Joseph Campbell

She wasn't sure WHAT to make of the statue ... so she barked at it.

A less than perfect world

“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people, 

to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole.”

~ Lauren Oliver

No matter how hard I try, 

this feeling of being on the edge of a precipice won’t go away.  

There’s a hollowness inside..

I feel empty.

Barren.

Lost.

Would that I could shake it off.

The 16th is looming and with it, the SO’s deportation.

It’s unsettling.

Morning rambles restore a sense of balance.

Even if it is just momentary.

Watching the sun rise this morning was uplifting.

Almost spiritual.

A great golden globe cresting the horizon

and shedding light on the world.

More than Magical.

The grey and overcast skies of the past few days were gone.

Just for a moment, spring was in the air.

I felt it.

Our rambles this week have been varied.

Courtesy of the overcast weather.

We went searching for reflections

and found them in abundance

but NOT at our usual haunts.

The reflections at Churchill Park reflected my reality.

Both muddied ...

and muddled.

Elsewhere they were vibrant and clear

Reflections of how life should be.

The clarity at times is startling.

Mirror image reflections of a less than perfect world.

On a more humorous note.

The little furball in this photo always barks at the hound as we pass in the morning

 but disappears before I can get a photo.

She’s VERY vocal .....

and persistent

but only because she’s several metres above the ground!

I shall just breathe and shine

“And if you’re ever feeling lonely, just look at the moon.  

Someone, somewhere, is looking at it too.”

~ anon

As an ardent fan of the moon and its cycles and the impact these cycles have on our lives, 

I often spend time just looking at the moon.  

I know that elsewhere in the world, 

the ones I love and hold dear  are looking at it too.  

It fills my heart with warmth.

As with the sun, the rise and fall of the moon is real and rhythmical.

It just comes up .... and goes down

and if you’re not looking, you might not even notice.

Mother Nature has it down pat.

Thoughts pop unbidden into my head as I ponder the magic that is the moon.

My life IS magical despite the chaos that occasionally threatens to overwhelm it.

The SO had his parole hearing this week.

Parole has been set for 16th September.

Deportation will happen soon after.

There’s a sense of finality to it all.

A beginning and an ending.

Spoonbills heading off to goodness knows where

Deportation though feels like a further punishment on us all 

and I have to wonder at the unfairness of it.

A lone shag snoozing on a branch

Yes.  He committed a crime.

Yes.  He should pay the price.

But he has.

And so, however unjust it might seem, have we.

The lemmings and I that is.

Now our family’s being pulled apart.

And for what?

I have so many questions and so few answers.

All I DO know is that I have to be ok with NOT knowing what’s coming next.

Mikey

This place, for now, is my home.

I shall just BREATHE and SHINE.

The trench she dug to float the log

“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.”

~ Rumi

When there's enough water the log floats and she can pick it up without getting sand in her mouth!
Just a little bit clever.

Success!

We're back!

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes.  

For an instant?” 

~ Henry David Thoreau

I’m no longer lost in another kind of world WITHOUT broadband!

It’s ominous how forgranted we take it until it’s no longer there.

So much of what we do, and how we operate, 

is dependent on that little signal that connects us to the worldwide web.

Phew.  Let’s not get started on the pros and cons of internet dependency.

Suffice to say I’m glad to be back on line.

This is my first blog in nearly a month and so much has happened.

A “working” car.  

Deportation for the SO.  

Broken phone.  

Moving.  

Winter markets.

It would be easy to dwell on negatives and the impact they have on my life,

 but that’s not the path I choose to take.

Yes.  The SO being deported is NOT the outcome I had in mind.  

The DIP’s decision isn’t negotiable though.

The SO will be deported on parole.

End of story.

Now is not the time for me to be making decisions about MY future.

That will happen when it ought.

For now I’m focused on surviving each day with my sanity intact

and earning enough to pay the increased rental at our new home.

Yes.  Finding a rental property that is hound friendly hasn’t been easy.

Or more affordable.

Moving home has meant no more early morning beach rambles

as the sand and the waves are no longer on our doorstep.

I’ve discovered another water source though just a hop, skip and a jump away.

By car that is.

The hound and I now traverse the Panmure Basin on the mornings I work.

It’s lovely and the birdlife is prolific.

My changed surroundings have had unexpected repercussions.  

I’m discovering walks close by that I wasn’t aware of.

Auckland’s rambling network is huge and largely unpublicised. 

Tuesday saw the hound and I tuck the 14km Rotary Walkway under our belt.

It was an awesome morning’s ramble along the Tamaki River.

A low tide and mist made it eerily soulful.

Just what the doctor ordered!

There’s a sense of calm to life at the moment, 

despite the discontent and upheaval of the last month.

I don’t know what the future holds.

I do know though that it WON’T be insurmountable.

“If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, 

and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, 

is more elastic, more starry, more immortal

 ... THAT is your success.” 

~ Henry David Thoreau 

Hmmm .... I seem to have a liking for Henry David Thoreau quotes at the moment.  

He’s obviously talking to my soul.