Friday, 16 January 2015

An unconventional answer.

 What to do when nothing
not even a ramble, 
takes away the melancholy feeling?
Find a truth that resonates with your soul.

We’re such emotional creatures.
On a high one day to an absolute downer the next.
The SO being served with a deportation notice can do that to one.
Trying to makes sense of it all is futile.
Shit happens.
Yep ... the Pukeko was quicker than I was.
It’s standard practice apparently to issue non-citizens with deportation notices.
It doesn’t affect my residency or that of the lemmings, just the SO.
Conventional wisdom dictates that I should remain positive.
Practice affirmative behavior.
Repeat empowering mantras.
Catching that early morning sun as it wakes up my world
Life doesn’t fit into a mould though.
Each of us is unique.
What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.
She only wanted the hound to chase her and couldn't understand why she wouldn't.
As I sat on top of the stairs at Dingle Dell,
with the hound by my side,
I pondered on the ache I felt inside.
I’ve come to love this country.
I love it’s quirkiness and the oddball characters that flit in and out of my life.
Verbalising those feelings ... even if it’s only to the hound ... helps.
She doesn’t mind the words falling out of my mouth bit.

Life feels like it’s been on hold for a while.
Stagnating instead of growing.
Stumbling from one chaotic moment to another.
Instead of making my passion happen more fully
I’m giving in to the dictates of circumstance.

It’s time to be true to me.
To cultivate that innate sense of curiosity
that sparked my photography from the beginning.
To really FEEL the emotions I see.
To take a risk, no matter the consequence.
Amazing reflections this morning.
It might result in the eyes leaking a little more frequently 
but tears are therapeutic too.
Deportation notices can be appealed.
They can be rescinded.

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