Friday, 4 March 2016

Delicious ambiguity.

“I wanted a perfect ending. 
Now I’ve learned the hard way.  
Some poems don’t rhyme 
and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.  
Delicious ambiguity.” 
~  Gilda Radner
Muriwai Beach
I’ve been on leave these past two weeks.  
I’ve been set free temporarily from the rigour of rosters and routine.  
It’s given me time to just BE in the places and the moments that fill me from the inside out.  
My kind of magical.
More magical Muriwai
Whilst my time-off has been tinged with sadness at the loss of my mother-in-law, it’s also been filled to the brim with love and friendship and everything that makes my little spot in the world so unique and special.
I’ve been attentive to life and it’s ebbs and flows.
Absolutely present within my own mind.
At leisure.
Leisure being a form of stillness.
That might sound odd but our pace of life is sometimes SO frenetic that we function on autopilot.  
Making a living is not having a life, 
no matter HOW much I might like it to be so.
Stillness keeps me human.
Rambles have been long and unhurried.
Beaches, reserves, reclaimed volcanoes our port of call.
The hound and I have sat and soaked up the sun ... and the rain.
Raining at Cornwall Park
We’ve shared coffee and apples and biscuits with the gulls.

A sad surfer who'd broken his board
There have been moments 
when the happiness bubble inside 
of me has felt fit to burst!
I’ve wanted to share the feelings I’ve felt.  Words though can’t describe it.  
It just IS inside of me.  
Time, and any sense thereof,  has been completely irrelevant.
That delicious ambiguity that Gilda Radner speaks of comes to mind!
The chicks are losing their downy feathers
Life might not be what I and others envisaged
but taking the moments and making them joyful is a choice.
I choose that joy purposefully
All is right in my world at this moment in time.
I couldn’t ask for more.

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