Chaotic moments breed chaotic thoughts

Fireworks for Auckland's Anniversary Weekend

“There is always a certain peace in being what one is, 

in being that completely.” 

~ Ugo Betti

I’m comfortable in my own skin.  

Most of the time.

All of us though, in varying degrees and at varying times, need the support of our friends.

I wouldn’t have survived this last year WITHOUT that support.

Melancholy has reared it’s ugly head more frequently recently than at any other time in my life.  

There are days when I don’t know how I’m going to make it through.

But I do.

A message.  

A heartfelt hug.  

A call.

Long chats with like-minded souls.

All play their part in making this journey more bearable.

As do morning rambles with the hound.

The chaos that is my life serves it’s own purpose.

Chaotic moments breed chaotic thoughts.

Chaotic thoughts fuel creativity.

Why is it that when life is ripped asunder by uncertainty and fear, 

SO much more is visible?

There’s a clarity that wasn’t there before.

A direction that, despite the uncertainty, is clearly marked.

How weird is that.

Before the crowds descend on The Cloud

As I walked the mudflats this morning with the hound

and marveled at the magnificence Mother Nature laid out before us, 

I felt a calmness I haven’t felt in a while.

I felt a strength growing from deep within.

This is not an easy journey to be on.

But it has ‘grown me’.

She caught a crab in the rock pool and ate it.

I no longer question the vagaries of life.

There are no perfect answers.

THIS is the hand I’ve been dealt.

I must do with it what I can.

The light wasn't brilliant this morning but this little girl didn't move.

“When we lose the right to be different, 

we lose the privilege to be free.” 

~ Charles Evans Hughes

... even when I got this close to her.

Pockets of stillness.

“Build pockets of stillness into your life.” 

~ anon.

The hound and I are investigators of the ordinary. 

The route we take on our daily ramble is mostly the same 

but there’s always something different to see each day.

From her perspective and from mine.

Winter PJs are nowhere near as interesting as summer ones.

That aside, it’s just NOT the same walking without her.

I MISS her keen nose and sharp eyes.

Most of all I miss her company.

She enjoys watching the world wake up as much as I do.

She’s probably thinking 

“Silly humans ... why do they stay in their beds so long!

There’s a whole world out here waiting to be explored.

The birds are up and the sun’s shining.

Bring on those waves!”

I echo her sentiments.

Except for the waves bit.

I love being outdoors and on the beach as much as she does

but it’s only my feet I’ll get wet during winter.

They got more wet than usual today.

Low tide and a glorious morning mean only ONE thing.

MUDFLATS

In embracing the glorious mess that is me, I sometimes take it quite literally.

This morning was one of those times.

Mud does something to a girl.

It’s not the most glamorous of accessories

but a necessary evil when stalking my feathered friends.

Oh to have the freedom that they have.

When they’ve had enough of the girl with the bright orange scarf they take off.

So graceful and effortless and free.

Till I find them again.

I am more than blessed to have this sanctuary of sorts in my life.

Even without the hound, 

it provides a modicum of normality to the chaos that surrounds me.

Standing on the shore with the waves filling my ear-drums,

I’m removed from the hubbub of everyday life that continues unabated around me.

If I close my eyes, I can make-believe I’m anywhere.

THIS is MY pocket of stillness.

A rainbow on my road!

The clock's ticking.

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you.  
What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” 

~ Jane Goodall

Would that everyone’s mornings could begin like mine.

I watch the world wake up and it’s magnificent.

Early morning autumn skies are just the best.

As the sun casts it’s rays across the bay, reflections rebound of every surface.

My world comes to life in a glistening and glittering fashion.

The hound of course notes NONE of this.

She has a log.

Time is short

and the  clock’s ticking.

It’s also low tide.

The mudflats and the rock pools beckon.

They TEEM with life when the tide’s out.

There’s an abundance of mud too.

Glorious gloopy sticky mud
that sucks our shoes in
and clings to our legs.

I lost count of the number of times Julia NEARLY lost her shoes.
It wasn’t just the hounds that looked like they’d had a mud-bath by the time we were finished.

Mornings like this help me breath easier.
I soak up the tranquility and calmness and just BE.
The iciness of the water as it seeps into my shoes is electric.
It makes me feel alive.

Cold feet and numb toes.

But alive.

That ticking clock stops for no one.

There IS no replay.

NO rewind.

NO pause.

Just the MOMENTS that each day brings

and I'm DEFINITELY a moments fan.